My intention with this Substack is to convey what has changed in New York in recent years. More optimistically, I had hoped to follow the process of the city's recovery but it's turned out to be multiple forms of decline. I endeavor to stay positive and not be repetitive or too negative. It's a great city and it goes through noticeable cycles. This is not a great part of the cycle but good times will come again.
After the last years in New York, I have new priorities. The shortlist: being outside more, seeing more of the sky and horizon, and feeling safe from other people (particularly ones that mandate what I put inside or on my body).
Previously, I wrote about a trip to Tampa Bay, Florida being a transformative moment in rougher times.
It's a place that gave me hope for a happier life around people just "living their lives." Even the people riding their bikes on the sidewalk slow down or let you know they are close. Here in NYC, you can expect to be buzzed by e-bikes or deliveries multiple times a day. This trend picked up over the lockdown takeout/delivery only era and only got worse. The e-bike batteries have been a bit of a fire hazard as well.
It could be a space issue in NYC but there are other factors in decline that make it harder to live here than ever. Maybe I could have found another town to find that healing feeling but Tampa Bay has spoken more than any other to me (Tennessee is frequently recommended). Dallas just was not the place (still need to see more of Texas). I am not having a brilliant revelation alone given how many other people from the North East I met escaping many of the same things in Tampa. The neighbors renting next to the Airbnb I stayed at were from Stamford, Connecticut.
Several Lyft drivers that I met in Tampa were also new to the area, and two within 3 months. One driver that had moved from Brooklyn answered some of my questions about what surprised him after moving there. Car insurance rates were his #1 surprise coming in close to New York rates. Also of note, the same driver was considering Texas, and Philadelphia, as were we at one point.
During our search for a house, Alex and I were roaming a potential neighborhood looking for any issues that may dissuade us from moving there. We were in an area near Busch Gardens and it seemed calm and the only people we saw were taking care of their property or doing auto repair. This was a distinct difference from our walk through East Tampa.
We had found an incredible house in East Tampa and on our walk through that area, there were several signs of concern but the nail in the coffin was a man explaining to an adult and child in a stopped car that he "was drunk." "I was drunk, I was drunk." We didn't hear much of the conversation other than the drunk explanation being repeated. Who knows what he did but his actions were continuing to have serious real estate ramifications.
Exploring another prospective area, we got caught in the rain on foot. A wonderful Lyft driver picked us up. It was raining consistently hard but visibility was okay. Driving otherwise was sound. The driver was telling us about their journey from Massachusetts. We were stopped at a stop light on a busy four-lane road with a divider. BOOM! and then there was also a smaller BOOM!. My head slammed back into the Honda Civic backseat headrest hard and then not as hard. It felt like getting sucker-punched in the back of the head. The truck behind us had been rear-ended by another truck of roughly the same size.
Given the time we had already spent at the stop light, this should not have been a sudden stop to the truck that did not stop. I suspect the colliding truck driver may have been distracted and didn't realize what was happening until his rental truck's front end was destroyed. I spoke with him and the other truck driver waiting for the police to arrive, neither seemed intoxicated and both were very heartbroken about the crushed metal on both of their vehicles. Thankfully no one seemed seriously injured and we were all boost...oh sorry wrong spiel.
Like many major changes, you have to take the good with the bad and hopefully, that ratio is better. Florida has some issues with bad driving. Florida was ranked #2 in pedestrian deaths in 2019.
Some of the wilder driving decisions I have seen in New York often come with Florida plates. It's understandable why insurance rates are higher there. Before being involved in a collision I witnessed a minor one during an earlier Lyft ride as we passed where a turning car collided with the side of another car. I saw 2 collisions in 4 days.
Now back to the good. Alex and I went to Publix for the first time. It's a store that comes in the form of a grocery/pharmacy/liquor store depending on the location. We were encouraged to get a Pubsub. I haven't been eating much wheat at all to a positive effect and I decided this might be a good exception for comparison. I ended up needing a nap after eating six of the twelve inches of the sub.
The Publix sandwich line was staffed by 4 jovial ladies enjoying the positive morale of having other friendly people with a sense of humor, cracking jokes, and making fine sandwiches. They still seemed efficient and thoughtful. It was so positive I wanted to tell the manager! Immediate positive review. I have not been in New York my whole life (just less than half in Virginia) and I was going through a moment of relief being around people that may have taken longer with an order but made you leave with a smile and good vibes, not to mention a great sandwich. Maybe a wrap next time (less wheat).
The drudgery in the face of a sandwich architect in New York makes you wonder about the sadness you are putting in your body. If it's not a solid bodega deli, it can be kinda gruff. Especially if you are competing with other customers between confusing isles. It can be like last call at a bar on Saturday night. Publix was nothing like this and it seemed like a decent grocery store minus the anxiety I get with the overstuffed stores I usually navigate in New York trying not to knock anything over.
We made plans for a No Agenda Meetup in Seminole Heights, a more trendy area with a variety of fun spots to check out. It was surprisingly easy to meet new friends and even make plans to meet later and get help finding a house. Alex found Front Porch & Bart’s Tavern and it was a perfect fit. Planning events outside of New York for the last year has seemed much easier with better attendance. One guy drove from Cocoa Beach on the other side of Florida for a few hours. He had endured the pandemic in Germany and from his stories it sounded worse than what I endured in New York.
I met two guys that had moved to Tampa from the Bronx. I imagined the camaraderie I felt is similar to meeting an ex-pat in another country. One had just moved a few months previous and we ended up bowling the next night. The other guy from the Bronx detailed a life-changing event where he was dragged by a subway car when his jacket was stuck in a subway door after a robbery. And as horrifying and in the past this cautionary tale was, a similar event happened this week when a man was dragged and killed by a Q train.
While I don’t follow sports that much, it’s not lost on me that the New York Rangers were in Tampa while I was there losing to the Tampa Bay Lightning in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. I’m not sure the personal significance other than New York losing to Tampa in another way.
The social circle, events, access to live music, and endless employment opportunities used to make up for the dreariness and disparity in available natural spaces and parks in New York City. And as my New York Lyft driver to the airport commented, "no one gives a fuck about anyone else anymore." None of those positive factors have fully recovered since 2020 and I will never forget how people treated others in this time of crisis encouraged by overzealous, self-serving politicians that overstepped too many bounds of personal freedoms and bodily autonomy. In the background, people have only become more entranced by their attention dominating phones, unplugging from shared reality in the present.
The decline in quality of life and increase in living expenses (inflation yes but feels like more than that) and rent (which keeps going up) make this a completely stupid place to live and pay high taxes. My perception may be particularly tainted this time by the sewage smell in my apartment (reoccurring problem) upon my return from Florida. I don't care how many episodes of Friends you watched over the pandemic, living here is pain.
Initially tuned into your blog Tom for a bit of NY nostalgia . But nostalgia is so passé.
Enjoying looking over your shoulder at the current reality.
I like the Lyft driver comment about no one caring about anyone else - but I thought that was always the way in NY and part of enduring the toughness of the place.
So, to start with, on trying to fit in with strangers, one looks for the things in common, then, later, for the differences.
Wishing you well, and want to hear more